My Masterpiece!

A joke™

It's a joke with Chinese surnames, using them to replace certain words in the English language. Actual English words are bracketed. Enjoy!

You is die now.
You is better run.
When your Mother come home,
she see you,
she is very angry.
And Too bad!
First, she say," I no top up your Sim card (SIM card) for one month!"
Then she drop five Tan (ton) lorry on you.
And tear you Lim from Lim (limb from limb).
Then she smash your Chin,
Pull out your Tang (tongue),
And give you one big Woon (wound).
And then she murder you there in Koh (cold) blood.
But don't worry.
It's just a Teo-ry (theory).
Why, you scared arh?
You Chee-ken (chicken).
How can you be so Sil-Lee (silly).
No mother is that Khoo-el (cruel).

Girly Man!!!

My all time favorite song. It's an Indian thriller. Someone did subtitles for the song for what it sounds like in English, not its translation. And so, the subtitles are just plain nonsense. Hilarious!

(I think I’m the evil of the people
Praise the glory of the evil!)

GIRLY MAAAAANNNNNNNNNN!!!
Girly man!
Girly man, man, man, man, man!
Girly man, man, man, man, man!

Gosh, my old calculator ain’t got no bow
Nippley man I met, he ate my motorboat
Calm down and park that comfy shin guard armor
Welcome the dude who ain’t the buyer of mugs

Girly man!
Girly man, man, man, man, man!
RIPPPP YOURRRR MAAAAA

Woot, I’m coming!
Mutton goes YAY!
Cook the Chicano’s day!
Mucho Caliente!
I’ll eat wasabe on my dude

All my body just got ruled
Kinda like a fist on road
One more body for your car
OOO! OOO! Papa’s Restaurant

OOOO you’ll be pumping Ovaltine
Or Salty Shanty’s One Shot Tea
Roll, jam, belching, raving son
Mork and bull, and mumued star

Kill her! Kill her! Kill her! Killer! Killer! Killer!
Girly Man!
Girly man, man, man, man, man!!
Kill her! Kill her! Kill her! Killer! Killer! Killer!

(Please don’t buy the bald seal)

Move then Connie
Let me go yay!
Cause it’s a yardless day
Conga line too, Good Day!
Salad is a cargo you could do

Chet’s my buddy, Chester Rowe
Called him at the coaster room
Smashing all the people up
It’s the child no parka rule

OOOO laddie, ready, bite your knee
OOOO conk a collie, conquer he
Deal them, peal them, people looked shocked!
Move, too, then you got private shower

Kill her! Kill her! Kill her! Killer! Killer! Killer!
Girly Man!
Girly man, man, man, man, man!!
Girly man, man, man, man, man!!

Gosh, my old calculator ain’t got no bow
Nippley man I met, he ate my motorboat
Calm down and park that comfy shin guard armor
Welcome the dude who ain’t the buyer of mugs

Girly Man!!
Girly man, man, man, man, man!!

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Merdeka

Happy Merdeka everybody!!!

The Grand Awakening of What was Once Dead Again!!

My blog has been through some very hard times, first contracting the life-threatening disease, BPDD (Blog post deficit disorder), which was already enough to kill off any other blog. But things got worse as The Hall of Stuff™ was further battered by a resulting complication, SLORS (Severe lack of readers syndrome), cutting off any hope of survival. Desperate and seemingly without hope, he lived out the rest of his cruel fate - alone. With only a few moments to live, he just couldn't help but wish that he were some other blog, free and full of life (and blogposts). Hope seemed far away - not even the faintest of lights being in the darkest of tunnels. Yet, he battled, day after day, struggling to come up with whatever blogposts that he could and managing with the few readers that came by once in awhile. Slowly and astonishingly, contrary to what everyone believed, The Hall of Stuff™ was actually getting better! Soon, blogposts became less infrequent. Some say it was due to his great determination. Others say it was a miracle. Whatever it was, both young and old found it hard to believe - they were utterly shocked! Delivered was he from his cruel fate. It was hope being poured forth from heaven, like rain in the desert. But things haven't always been smooth sailing, and life was not about to get any easier. He still had good and bad times, ups and downs. After all, that is life. And also yet, in the midst of a battle won, deep within his heart was the constant fear of the recurrence of the deadly disease, like death itself lurking, and waiting for the kill.

So, if I haven't been blogging, don't blame me!!

The Grand Awakening of What was Once Dead

It's been ages since I last blogged. I'm so sorry to have kept you (all my dear fans) in such great anticipation. It must have been a very painful and excruciating wait. But wait no longer. Because here you have it, after a very long time, a blog post! Enjoy!

P.S. : There you go, Yi Wan. I hope you like it. =) I guess your hypnotizing worked. I have no choice but to blog. Must blog!!

Saviour Of The World